I'm still making errors.

I realized how much of a mistake I made the beginning of this year.

I started off around all these new people. I guess I had never figured that a new freshman class would bring prospective new friends.

I met these new friends the first day of school, and I quickly fell in love with them. For once, I had a group of friends that all really liked being around each other. I was crazy about them, and put them all on a pedestal.

But, as if you couldn't foresee, as quickly as I became close to them, I realized they aren't perfect. Their flaws were more apparent than ever because I had assumed they didn't have any. I went from a group of four really close friends to a group of people who tolerated each other because that's what we used to be. I had completely shut out certain people, and refused to even get to know some because of the influence of this group of friends.

They completely changed my opinions on a lot of things. I gave people a lot of shit for nothing, and I really regret it. I remember thinking in my head, towards the beginning of this whole debacle, "These girls are so great. I can't imagine ever fighting with them" and I think that was my biggest error of all. I made the mistake of telling myself they could do no wrong, so when they DID do wrong (like every human being does) I was beside myself.

Now I have to remember to tell myself not to jump into relationships. It only leads to fights. It's not that I don't have friends - It's that I misjudged a lot of people, and I would really do anything to have a do-over. But I can't.

So, I guess, if you're reading this, I'm asking you to give me some slack if I attempt to change the kind of friendship we have. I'm going to try and go back and befriends those who I refused to befriend, and pull away from those who I put on a pedestal.

I really just want to know the people I spend my time with, inside and out.